Some Reflections on New Old Age: You have to Define Your Relations

The meaning of life changes for a senior citizen and he or she should become capable of and flexible enough to undergo such changes. More than that, s/he should be the agent of such changes. As human welfare progresses, the meaning of life, in general, acquires greater intensity and depth and the mission becomes richer and nobler. The present old age, as a phase in life, has been acquiring a significant role in course of human evolution. We should know why.

            In the past, in the pre-independent India, when the life span or longevity was short, the adult life or the middle life, which lies in between the infancy and the old age, was very intensive, demanding and meaningful. Childhood and adolescence were indistinguishable and the brief old age was a phase of dependence, with or without respect. Respect for elders was given without considering whether it was well-earned or not. No doubt, the family relations were cemented by strong bonds of inter-dependence, devotion, sacrifice, affection and love. The individual meaning of life is defined by the role in the family and the relationship with the other members of the family. Rarely, the individual has a mission of his or her own. Further, the pre- and post- adult life is subjected to many inequalities. They went, hand in hand, with social inequalities and hierarchies that prevailed for generations. Consequently, not infrequently, children, elders and women suffered from neglect and abuse. However, all said and done, the family relations were peaceful and harmonious in an epoch when the society was moving in a slow pace.

            Now, we are living in a fast-track society, with a longer life in each phase and each phase promising to be enjoyable with care and attention. However, the innocent infancy period is getting shorter with earlier maturity of the human being due to increased contacts and communications. Cinemas and television contribute to this to great extent. Increasing individual expectations of each member of the family are modifying the role and place of the elders in the family. In such circumstances, the elders also have to redefine themselves so as to adjust themselves to the changing social context. At times, such adjustment might appear to be lowering their status. It is, also, precisely, in a phase in their life when their physical and mental faculties seem to be declining.

            A second phenomenon is the growing individualization of the human being, which applies to all the members of the family, including the senior citizens themselves. In the past, in the ideal society, the individual wanted to live, almost like a branch of a tree in an organic relationship with the society, where the society gave everything to the individual through various social groups. But, since the French political revolution, the British industrial revolution, the Russian socialist revolution and our own independence, the individual is fixing his own meaning life and setting his own goals to be achieved in life. He is accumulating a lot of personal capital, like knowledge, expertise, productivity, skills, talents, experience and material goods and, is transferring them to the family, to the society and to the future generations. While in the past, this process of transfer was focused only upon the nearest social group, like the family, now a days, the process is extending itself to cover the entire society, from smaller circles to wider circles. That is why we call our society, an inclusive society.

            Now, in our aspiring society, where each human being and each phase in his life has to have its own meaning, not just a group identity, the human inter-actions are multiplying themselves. Human relations are being  built not only by bonds of blood relation ship or group identities like family, dynasty, clan, caste, community, nationality, etc, but by expressed human qualities like liberty, equality, justice, affinities, reciprocity, friendship, loyalties, compassion and love. Each individual, on becoming a senior citizen, should review himself or herself, whether s/he is in the right track or not. Accordingly, one should re-define one’s relations within the family and in the society, without resignation.

                                    -----------------------------------------------Dr. Rao V.B.J. Chelikani

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